Monday, November 17, 2014

Turning 45: Things I've Learned

Last weekend I celebrated my 45th birthday... Don't gasp! I'm fine with the number. I spent beautiful days filled with lots of love and happy moments. I never thought that on my birthday number 45 I would feel better and happier than on birthday number 35! It's true, and here's why:

I know who I am and who I am not.
I used to have a long list of things I thought I should do to live a good life.  Days were packed with activities, and life was insanely stressful. Finally, after years of doing things I thought I should do and numerous ups and downs, I finally learned to ask myself what makes me happy? and do things I want to do. 

I don't feel the need to be perfect. 
Agh, I used to be my biggest and meanest critic. I would beat myself up for tiny little things that mattered to no one! And now, nothing is the end of the world any more. I know that plan A can always be replaced with plan B, and, if plans don't work out, I won't loose my sleep over them and won't think that I am a failure!

I am no longer an idealist. 

I used to idealize everything without realizing that every job, place, and person come with both good and bad sides. Oh, finding out that things were not perfect was very painful and disappointing. Now, I don't look for something that does not exist, and it is very liberating. As long as I love working on a project and can deal with it's negative sides, then this is the project for me. 

Same applies to personal matters. I often hear my single friends hoping to find their princes, and they all have lists of what they are looking for in a man or a woman. Not many create lists of negative qualities that they can or cannot tolerate in a man or a woman, however... Probably it's because they haven't turned 45 yet... 

I Choose kindness.
Every human makes a choice of acting kind or not. Unfortunately, many chose not to be kind, and we see and experience their unkindness daily. Do you have friends who drain your energy? Toxic people in our lives cause us a lot of emotional angst, and often make us bitter. 

No more! One day I came across with a quote by J.M. Barrie from The Little White Bird: "Shall we make a new rule of life, always try to be a little kinder than is necessary?" What a beautiful quote!

So I chose kindness, surrounded myself with those who choose kindness, and weeded out the others. Life's too short for negativity.

Celebrate every moment. 
I know now that life is too precious to let it's beautiful moments pass me by. And there are many beautiful moments to celebrate- blue sky, bright sun, pretty flowers, hugs from my children, kisses from my man, chats with my friends... 

What did you learn after turning ... ?

With love always,
xo, Zuma A.

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