As I was dressing up, I fished out of the drawers my lucky
pink with black polka dots underwear. Today I have my annual mammogram
screening appointment and, since too many relatives of mine had some type of
cancer diagnosis, I do not want to take any chances. So, after getting some
work done, I zoomed to my doctor’s office parking lot. As I am a big sucker for
fancy everything, I go to a fancy breast cancer specialist. She approaches
every patient in a very personal manner and I like that. Even though she sees
me only once a year, somehow still remembers me and every member of my family
by our first names, remembers little things I told her about my kids. I wonder
if she makes these notes in her file…

By the time I was taken to the screening room, my heart was
nervously beating. If we are a product of chemical reaction which quite often
gets screwed up, how can we outsmart our DNA? Can we? Should we? Is it worth
being stuck to a big shiny machine and squeezed until ready to scream? Do we
even look in the right place?
As I was walking into the empty examine room, I saw my
doctor talking to someone on the phone. Her eyebrows were drawn down as she was
scanning through the papers in her hands. Somehow I knew those were not my
papers, but they were someone’s. This made me wonder how many times she had
broken bad news to her patients. Is it daily? Weekly? And then, how could she
live with this burden? Does it get balanced by giving good news to others?
After the daunting waiting time, my doctor finally opened
the door holding my file. She looked pleased, asked me questions about work,
family and kids, made some notes, and sent me home for a year. My lucky underwear did not fail me this
time!
On my way home I took a detour and stopped at my favorite
spot overlooking the ocean. The sky was so blue and the sun was so bright! I
took a deep breath, and it felt so good.
Simple pleasure – it is. Will try to hold on to that feeling
the rest of the day.
Feeling lucky.
With love, always,
xo, Zuma A.
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